but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
