Having a random hookup so left but love u
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
