I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
