I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
