Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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