i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
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My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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