...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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