i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
