He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
