It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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