she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
