it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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