I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
