We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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