I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I could fuck to npr.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
