i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
