it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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