we have officially lost it.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
