we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize