This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
