There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
