what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i need some magic done to my vagina
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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