you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
