okay pat passed out under dana's car
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Randomize