also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
