I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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