They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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