apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
