Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
