i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.