what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
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I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
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I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?