He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.