Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.

Fav 13 1855 4773
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?

Fav 51 6343 1073
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.

Fav 17 7337 924
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos

Fav 17 8487 1618
share tweet
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(904): View more from Florida

The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.

Fav 12 6822 1881
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass

Fav 17 4318 2201
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.

Fav 10 1650 1577
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

cocks speak louder than words, as they say

(914): View more from New York

Nobody says that.

Fav 8 2120 872
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.

Fav 2 426 905
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT