Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
