Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
