I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
