chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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