i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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