Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
the night ended with taco bell and tears
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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