I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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