Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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