I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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