I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
