I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
