so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
