I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
