im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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