Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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