Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
