I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
