"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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