we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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