So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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