Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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