Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
