My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
