Dual....:-)
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
