Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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