dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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