If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
