You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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