after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
