Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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