No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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