so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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