One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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