these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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