ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
What drink are we having for lunch?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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